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I remember there was a time,
When I thought I had committed a crime.
I remember feeling my mind wonder,
As the first idea of you went through me like thunder.
First all I could feel was a hollow fear,
Then came the first happy tear.
My little baby nestled within me,
I just thought of how it would be.
A warm little someone to love and protect,
This little person I would never regret.
A son or a daughter,
Would be my joy and laughter.
I didn't care if they threw me out,
This child was mine without a doubt.
I would sit awake for hours,
Thinking of the blessed powers.
How wonderful it was to have you!
Being absolutely steadfast and true!
And my love was unconditional,
There was no want for anything additional.
When I told your father,
He wasn't thrilled that I was going to be a mother.
He was scared,
He worried how this was to be shared.
In a rush of emotion,
I threatened to keep you from his devotion.
My little miracle from heaven's beauty,
He was such a calamity.
He wasn't worthy of seeing your face.
He didn't deserve my grace.
But as I was prepared to have my life with you,
My hopes and fears came true.
You were not.
You were merely a thought.
A dream held onto in the cold of night,
To save me from my loneliness and fright.
My little dream,
I wish I had you.
Things were so much easier to do,
When my only thought was of you.
I did not have a single selfish thought,
When I was your mother.
When I had you.
Teen pregnancy is a big deal. It's scary and difficult to deal with.

This is an account of my experience, personally, with it. I was 19 at the time and very scared.

Use protection or be abstinent.
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:iconstarinasparda:
This is simply amazing. The imagery and feeling that you put into this was just overwhelming. I could feel the highs and the horrible low at the end.

It conveyed such a wonderful feeling of warmth in the beginning only to feel the wretched let down but at the same time conveyed a grace and fluidity.

It flowed amazingly and kept me intrigued to keep reading more. I do love how you finished it off and the three lines are just absolutely beautiful.

The impact of this will stay with me all day. I look forward to reading more of your work
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconnekomarik:
NekoMarik Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rose::orange::butterfly: This has been featured here: [link] :rose::orange::butterfly:
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Professional Writer
:heart: Much appreciated! It's truly an honor.

If there is anything else you'd like to feature, feel free and let me know as I have way too many poems and you're looking for some literature for your featured journal. :love:
Reply
:icond3syna:
D3syna Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I admit that your words touch my heart.
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconundecidedddddddddddd:
My hopes and fears came true.
You were not.
You were merely a thought.
A dream held onto in the cold of night,
To save me from my loneliness and fright.

what does that mean?
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Professional Writer
I wasn't actually pregnant...just very sick actually
Reply
:iconjesus-mothic-freak:
Jesus-mothic-freak Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012
i was thiking miscarriage... :icontearsplz:
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 11, 2012  Professional Writer
Well...the baby wasn't real...just my mind playing tricks.
Reply
:iconconradkcat:
conradkcat Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is gorgeous, simply fantastic. It goes so impossibly high, and then comes crashing down. I really like it, thankyou so much for sharing. It must have taken a lot of bravery to put that down on paper.
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 7, 2012  Professional Writer
It did take a lot. But I felt like it needed to be expressed.

I think it's important to actually share the highs and lows of a situation like that so others can avoid it. :)

Thank you very much for reading. :)
Reply
:iconradiantrarity:
RadiantRarity Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Extremly touching. Reminds me of my own experence.
Reply
:icondenece-the-sylcoe:
Denece-the-sylcoe Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very, very powerful message. Amazing poetry, you can feel your own emotions come through it from your own personal experience. :)
Reply
:iconamahdi:
Amahdi Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautifully written. :') this brought a tear to my eye. And made me learn more about you.
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you so much :huggle:
Reply
:iconkhaj:
khaj Featured By Owner May 4, 2012
really beatiful poem
Reply
:iconsakuragarcia:
sakuragarcia Featured By Owner May 4, 2012
simply beautiful
Reply
:iconjujutsu:
Jujutsu Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is brilliant! I just adore it! See smiley --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

The selflessness of becoming a parent is one of the most beautiful things in this world.
Reply
:iconserelyartworks:
SerelyArtworks Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Your feelings sound so true for me... You succeed in putting in words such a difficult feeling, to be a "no mother". Thank you. Your words touch me.
Reply
:icons3xkytt3n:
s3xkytt3n Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist
I was 19 when I had my daughter. She's 6 now.

I've tried many times to explain how being her mom makes me feel, and every time without fail I don't feel like I do it justice. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I knew that she would be the center of my universe. I never knew love like this was even possible.

Being a parent is not for everyone, and I wish that my generation, and the younger generation would brain up and realize that. Financially stable or not, it's the mentally stable issue I think most "parents" struggle with.
Reply
:iconvictorhugo:
VictorHugo Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Damn! I´m teary eyed again. :) sorry for your loss!
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you *hands tissue* I know how you feel.

it wasn't a miscarriage...or an abortion. It was a false alarm at a very bad time in my life. It felt very real...I was very depressed when it turned out to not be real.
Reply
:iconlequebecois1962:
lequebecois1962 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I am deeply touched by this text.
Reply
:iconbeck-carter:
Beck-Carter Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
A very thought-proviking, touching and moving piece! Pregnancy is something that is never to be taken lightly, and it's amazing how you captured your and other's emotions. Very well written! :nod::nod:
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconbeck-carter:
Beck-Carter Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconsakura2189:
Sakura2189 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This is a very beautiful piece
the topic and the way you placed your thought into words somehow piques my interest
simply beautiful ♥
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
thank you...very scary time in my life
Reply
:iconsilent-forever:
Silent-forever Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
It's a beautiful poem! So sad! Reading this, I am convinced you would have made a perfect mother!
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconsilent-forever:
Silent-forever Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
You're very welcome. It's a very touching poem!
Reply
:iconkara-chan66z:
kara-chan66z Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Did the child die? D:
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
it wasn't a miscarriage...or an abortion. It was a false alarm at a very bad time in my life. It felt very real...I was very depressed when it turned out to not be real.
Reply
:iconkara-chan66z:
kara-chan66z Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm so sorry :(
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Professional Writer
it's ok now though. I can at least share :)
Reply
:iconkara-chan66z:
kara-chan66z Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm glad you see it this way :) I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that it happened so that you could use those emotions and divert the paths of others! And when I said I'm glad it happened, I don't mean it like that! I'm just saying that, usually, the most talented people are the ones who've been through the most pain.
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you for seeing it that way. :) And I tend to agree...
Reply
:iconkara-chan66z:
kara-chan66z Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome! And here, :heart:! :D
Reply
:iconsquall85:
Squall85 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012
I remember my ex-gf and I were close to this. Once in a year her period is delayed on a random month for a week. We didn't know this and when it was first delayed we were frightened how it's going to be. I bought the test but didn't do it instantly. We had 2 tickets for a Marilyn Manson concert, during the concert I wraped my arms around her, protecting her thinking "hey, guys, be more careful, this girl might hold my child". So at the same time it was frightening but I was somewhat thrilled. I was 20 at the time. After the concert we did the test, the result: negative. I was relieved and sad at the same time...

So how's the relation with your partner since?
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
Much better...those were tough times.
Reply
:iconchibikitty09:
Chibikitty09 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thats kind of like me, except i'm on a birth control shot. I had gotten sick and started throwing up in the mornings or occasionally when i smelled food, and i was suuuper emotional all the time,and my monthly cycle isn't exactly normal (i don't usually have one bc of the shot) so my boyfriend was a little worried i might have gotten pregnant.
well we bought 2 tests just to make sure, and they were both negative, i was actually kind of sad, evem though i'm only 17. But i'mhappy too, bc i want to build a solid life first, and be finacially stable.
Reply
:iconbelinda92:
Belinda92 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There's too many people out there who lives for today's and not tomorrow's satisfaction, it's sad. If I got pregnant i'd have an abortion, no second thought. Most young people don't have the brains to pull off mother/fatherhood so they should wait. I personally will never have any children because I think life is too important to do as everyone else, following their primal instinct like slaves. I know I'll someday think "oh what a cute baby", but then again it's just your brain mindfucking you to think you've got your own will. So no thanks, there's so many people having children out there, one less ain't nothing to worry about.
Reply
:iconnym182:
Nym182 Featured By Owner May 4, 2012
You know...I tend o agree with your philosophy mostly...the way this world is going to shit...bringing a child into it with no consideration to whether one can raise that child properly...I don't know...that seems like a crime to me... And it's probably why the majority of the planet's population is retarded... But abortion...you know.. to me it's not necessarily murdering a person....but it all comes down to destroying life...and that's even more primitive than making babies like slaves to our own nature. There's my 2 cents on the matter.
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:iconclosetothedarkness:
CloseToTheDarkness Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
that is terrible but, it's real. : x
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:iconastralstoryteller:
astralstoryteller Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
you made my day :D im a teen pregnancy baby, my mother was just 17 when i was born and gave up the world for me. you just reminded me how much she has done for me! this poem is beautiful, it has an easy rythem and clear lyrics. i dont think you missed anything. it is awesome!
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Professional Writer
thanks! I was a teen baby myself...
Reply
:iconastralstoryteller:
astralstoryteller Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
and you came out as a poet, that is pure beauty. this strikes homefor both of us in a sense.
Reply
:iconxxharmoniouschaosxx:
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Professional Writer
it does
Reply
:iconcizou:
Cizou Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
um。。....
Reply
:iconaelex:
Aelex Featured By Owner May 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so beautiful and so sad :(
A wonderful poem. a friend of mine got a baby now and it's not long ago that she turned 19.
Reply
:iconxmiiquii:
xMiiQuii Featured By Owner May 4, 2012
ahw ;A;
it is so well written, i can almost feel her (your) happiness/despair.
it breaks my heart.. I wish you best of luck, I hope you will be given a child again, when times are more convenient <3
Reply
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