I remember there was a time,
When I thought I had committed a crime.
I remember feeling my mind wonder,
As the first idea of you went through me like thunder.
First all I could feel was a hollow fear,
Then came the first happy tear.
My little baby nestled within me,
I just thought of how it would be.
A warm little someone to love and protect,
This little person I would never regret.
A son or a daughter,
Would be my joy and laughter.
I didn't care if they threw me out,
This child was mine without a doubt.
I would sit awake for hours,
Thinking of the blessed powers.
How wonderful it was to have you!
Being absolutely steadfast and true!
And my love was unconditional,
There was no want for anything additional.
When I told your father,
He wasn't thrilled that I was going to be a mother.
He was scared,
He worried how this was to be shared.
In a rush of emotion,
I threatened to keep you from his devotion.
My little miracle from heaven's beauty,
He was such a calamity.
He wasn't worthy of seeing your face.
He didn't deserve my grace.
But as I was prepared to have my life with you,
My hopes and fears came true.
You were not.
You were merely a thought.
A dream held onto in the cold of night,
To save me from my loneliness and fright.
My little dream,
I wish I had you.
Things were so much easier to do,
When my only thought was of you.
I did not have a single selfish thought,
When I was your mother.
When I had you.